Artistically  Speaking 

 

  Jade awoke cold and sweaty laying in the fetal position on the lumpy queen sized mattress. Her body was heavy and her limbs were numb. Beads of moisture caused her nightshirt to fit like a second skin. A horse scratchy sigh escaped her lips while she cleared her throat. She was tired, disgusted and depressed. As if on cue the spiteful voice that lived somewhere inside of her head declared.

 

“ You have the nerve to be disgusted, imagine that!”

 

Jade squeezed her closed eyes tighter and tried to squelch the voice into  nothingness.    

 

  She did not want to move, not one inch, she opened one eye to peek at her clock but a half-empty bottle of gin blocked the numbers. Jade closed her eye and rolled over,  she did not want to be reminded of her failed promise not to drink so much on a work night. From the quiet safety of her bed, she opened her eyes and stared at the dark bathroom where the shower demanded her presence. Jade opened her mouth to get a breath. The room was stifling and the gin was evaporating off her body into the dank air. She sighed as she thought of the dreams, night after night that did'nt allow her to get a good night sleep. She started each day feeling run down and increasingly depressed. How many times had she called in sick?  Could she get away with it just once more? She rolled over and picked the gin bottle up off the nightstand and tucked it under her bed.  The clock laughed at her as the numbers glowed 6:00am in bright red. She wondered how another year could have passed by so fast, but tomorrow would be her thirty-second birthday and it would probably be as crappy as the last. In fact, she could not remember the last good birthday she experienced.

 

“Oh.”, she mumbled to herself.

 

 The thought raced through her head so fast that she almost missed it, it was her tenth birthday. Ah… her tenth birthday, she could smell her father’s old spice cologne as he tipped toed into her room, careful not to wake her. She peeked at him through half closed eyes and  saw him lay her present and card on the dresser. Jade could see her sister’s feet only a few steps away in the other twin bed. Only a nightstand separated them. Her father came to her bed, kissed her gently on her forehead, and whispered

 

“Happy Birthday angel”, before turning to leave her room.